What is it they say about the best laid plans? Now that February is here, it is apparent that my New Year's Endeavors and my January Project will have to be revised a bit.
To recap, my intentions were to 1)start running and enter a 5k in March, 2)landscape 2 areas in my yard, and 3)spend more time in the Word. Well, the Lord showed me throughout January (and is still showing me) that my #3 should've been #1. It's the only one of the 3 that I've been working on all month! Here's why:
You may recall that I've been having some horrible headaches for the last month or so. So severe that they caused me to really wonder what's going on. Well, a couple of weeks ago the headache struck up again; this time, though, I woke up with a droopy right eyelid and a constricted pupil. That was finally enough to get me to a doctor.
Come to find out, after a long week of doctor's visits, a CT scan, an MRA, and lots of blood work, that I have high blood pressure, which resulted in a dissected carotid artery, which resulted in Horner's Syndrome in my eye. Believe it or not, this diagnosis, as scary as it really is, was the lesser of the possibilities. It seems that Horner's Syndrome (which is droopy eyelid & constricted pupil) is symptomatic of many medical problems, the top three being: brain tumor, lung cancer, and dissected carotid artery.
God in His mercy protected me from suffering a stroke at the time of the dissection. The injury to my carotid artery appears to be small, and we're hopeful that if I can keep my blood pressure down, and my blood thinned, that it will heal itself in 3-6 months. My headaches for the most part have subsided as my blood pressure has become regulated. I've gone from never taking any medications other than OTC to using a pill organizer to keep all my med's straight. Running and landscaping are out for right now :-)
It took us a full week to positively diagnose the cause. That was a week in which the Lord reminded me of His blessings to me. My Amazing Man was my steady, calm comfort throughout. When I was shaky and prone to high-anxiety, he kept his cool and kept my focus. He even read out and filled in the newspaper crossword with me while we waited for the CT scan. Now, that's dedication! Our wonderful friends surrounded us with love and support. They were right there, ready to take My Girl and My Boy whenever we needed it. My dear sister and loving mom kept me in their prayers, and I knew their love was around me the whole time. They are such precious gifts to me.
My strength and comfort came when I was in the Word. I spent a lot of time in Joshua 1, where the Lord reminded me to be strong and courageous. And that he would never leave me or forsake me. I spent time in (and am still in) 1 Peter, where He reminded me that His eye is on the righteous, and His ear hears their prayer. He is also teaching me through 1 Peter that I must pray, but that in order to pray I must be self-disciplined, and I must clear my mind of everything (including fears).
I'm so thankful for this opportunity God has given me to draw closer to Him, and to learn such valuable lessons from Him. That it takes such a dramatic series of events to capture my attention makes me ashamed of myself. But my new #1 goal for February is to learn to be self-disciplined, and to clear my mind of my fears, in order to have a rich and meaningful prayer life. That's all I can really try to focus on. Anything else will be gravy!